He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
