At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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