So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
