What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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