But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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