I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
