Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
