Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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