hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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