Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
