Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
