Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
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