dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
