dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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