should my penis look like a turkey
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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