So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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