Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
