K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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