Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
