Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
