Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
