I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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