I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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