so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i out mim tonsoeep
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