in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
