I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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