ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
