I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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