He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
