drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
