That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
