So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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