Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you inspire me to be a worse person
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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