HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
