? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
