I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
