So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
