Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
