I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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