Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
