Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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