my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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