I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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