WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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