I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
