YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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