I wish I could teleport
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
