...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
