So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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