I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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