I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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