I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
